Pink Hello Kitty

Commit

2010.  Wow.  I cannot believe it is another decade gone by.  I have been reflecting a bit today on what has happened over the last decade, not to mention just the last year.  It is A LOT.  It has not all been peaches, really.  I don't talk a lot about the bad experiences on this blog, I mostly save that for my private journal, for many reasons.  I know other people are able to be very open, and I was more so at one time, but I am just not that brave anymore.  I admire the people that are, and especially the ones that have the ability to just write in such a way that cracks me the heck up while they talk about their lives, but I blog differently and hope that other people can respect me for that, as I respect them for their blog style.  Now, having said that, I want to talk about the prospect of a new year.  I always have such high hopes for what is considered a "fresh start".  Again, I have them for 2010. 

Ali Edwards is a scrapbooker/storyteller that I have admired for forever and a day, and she is the one whose philosophy regarding my pictures and scrapbooking I try to live by the most.  Every year for a while now, she has picked "One Little Word" as a sort of mantra to live by for that year.  Some of my friends on Facebook were talking about their word and I thought about it at length.  The one thing I dislike about myself, (remember #7 and #13 from this post??)  I procrastinate A LOT, and then when I do start things, I have a super hard time finishing them.  Not always, but much of the time!  I have so many unfinished projects, and so many ideas that I haven't even begun to make a reality yet.  So when the girls were talking about their word, I wanted to know the word that was the complete opposite of "procrastinate".  I still am not sure there even is one officially, but I have picked my word.  I am really excited about it.  I think it is the closest thing to what I am trying to live by for this year.  Commit.  One word.  One simple little word that has such a HUGE meaning for me.  It can mean so very much to so many, but to me, it mainly means I will make a decision to do something and I will commit to following through and doing it.  This can relate to my crafting, organizing my house, calling someone I haven't called in a while.  I feel like it is a biggie, but it can, and must be lived for this year.  Big year=big word. 

I love this picture of me and my mom taken just the other day.  I have already made a big commitment to spend more time with her.  It is important to me and I know she wants that too!

Hello 2010.  I am making a commitment to you to make this a good one! 

The Best Christmas Gift

Christmas 1997 My first child was born.  12 whole years, 12 whole Christmases have gone by.  How is that even possible when I remember it like it was yesterday?  It was such a special day and she is such a special girl, my Marissa.  She was actually born on her due date!  I was so sick on Christmas eve and I remember bawling and bawling, not because I wanted the baby, but because I was so swelled up and miserable from being pre-eclamptic and not knowing it, I thought I might surely die.   My mother was going to go kick the doctor through the teeth, (We hated that cocky jerk and thank God he wasn't on call for the delivery and our favorite, Dr. Carlson was!)  I woke up at 7am on Christmas morning and went to the bathroom.  I walked down the hall and immediately felt like I totally peed my pants!  I knew I couldn't have, I just walked OUT of the bathroom just having peed!!  I was pretty excited, but a little ticked that I had waited all this time for her and she was now coming when I was ready to open my gifts!  So I showered and we headed to Boise, (We lived 57 miles away in Ontario, Oregon at the time).  I wasn't having any contractions so we went to Bryan's parents and opened gifts for the next hour and a half.  I finally went to the hospital at about noon, but still wasn't having much pain.  They got me ready and put me into my room, and we waited.  Nothing.  ALL day, nothing!  But then the doc finally decided he didn't want to do this all night so by around 3:30pm he hooked me up to pitocin, not to mention my blood pressure was sky rocketing through the roof.  Still not much happening but lots of pain, which I was breathing like a rock star through.  They gave me an epidural around 7pm, and everyone was eating Christmas dinner at the foot of my bed...(How insensitive!!)  The nurse also left to eat dinner with her little family really quickly since it was in fact Christmas!  Next thing I know, I feel like I have to poop.  This is about a quarter to 8pm, but I don't want to interrupt anyone's dinner, so I just keep it to myself.  The nurse shows back up and I finally tell her this.  She is like, "Well I can check you but it seems unlikely since you haven't progressed too much today."  I didn't know a thing so I was like, "yeah, okay lady".  She then is like, "Shit...I need to call the Doc...we are ready to push."  I couldn't even believe I had gone from 3-4 centimeters from the last 3 weeks and all day, to a 10 in just about 45 minutes, and she couldn't either.  Everyone had just walked out for a breather thinking this was never going to happen, and so my brother had to go find everyone to let them know what was happening.  Dr. Calrson showed up pretty quickly and I delivered Marissa at 9:16pm.  What an amazing gift.  I will never forget it.  I had on my George Winston CD, December, the whole time and she was born to Pachelbel's Cannon.  I love that song to this day, as well as the whole CD.  I listen to it every December no matter what.  I love that they brought her back to me all cleaned up in this giant Christmas stocking!  It was so cute and exciting!

I never imagined how a baby could change my life like Marissa did.  She is smart, and funny, and beautiful, and talented.  She is sweet and thoughtful.  She is an amazing sister and has turned into such a lovely young lady.  I cannot imagine my life without her.  I LOVE that we get to celebrate her special day every Christmas Night with a big family dinner.  I could never ask for a better gift than that of a first born child.  Words cannot describe it. 

I love you, Marissa!  Thank you for being my Special Christmas Gift!

Thoughtfulness Hard At Work

Here are my children knee-deep (and my livingroom as well!!) into their gift making for the family, and each other.  It was so adorable how they have clearly learned how to be thoughtful over the years by making something with their hands, not always needing to purchase something.  I will have a post about that which will be way more detailed after Christmas, so stay tuned.  I read this post from Soule Mama, (and if you have never read her blog it is a MUST!!) and she inspired me to take a photo and write about this very important part of this season that I really haven't documented before!  My children would do the same as hers, when they needed to do something for each other, they would run into their bedroom and do it in private so the other would not see...soooo cute!  I obviously had to appreciate the moment and release the pressure of the disastrous condition of my livingroom, but thankfully they were wonderful about cleaning up when they were finished...AWESOME!!! Honestly, I am so grateful that they are old enough to think in this way and do it with very little help from me, and also to clean up on their own!  How blessed I am, and how happy I am that this little piece of thoughtfulness "stuck" in their brains after years of doing it on my own and trying to be an example.  That makes this "mom" thing okay, at least for today...haha!

I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas...

...Not really but the Curly Willow in the back yard sure looks beautiful, I have to admit!  I just need to get to a couple of places today, no shopping, just dropping off gifts and visiting my mom, that sort of thing, so I hope I can get through that safely!  And anyone who is traveling, BE SAFE! 

It's Beginning To Look Alot Like Christmas...

We live in a small house so the decorations are usually really very minimal, but none-the-less still pretty!  Yes, that tree is pink, thank you for asking, and it has been since I spray painted it like 3 or 4 years ago.  I love it!  It's me.  Go ahead, laugh.  My kids love it too, or at least they say they do...haha!  It is wrapped in white lights, pink organdy ribbon, pink tulle, and is decorated with small vintage glass ornaments, feathered birds, and butterflies.  The stockings for the children are handmade by Bryan's amazing mom!  She made one for every child for their first Christmas and they are layers of hand cut felt shapes, embellished with gold thread, buttons, bells, and all kinds of fun little pretties.  Their names are embroidered at the tops in a beautiful script.  She did a phenomenal job and they are a very special part of our Christmas.  They hang by the woodstove on an old wooden screen my mom gave me.  I love to just sit on the couch with the lights out and only the tree lights turned on, right next to our beautiful old woodstove, fire blazing.  It is such a beautiful thing!

Little Lexie Loo Who Turns 9!!

Lexie was due on Christmas day, just like Marissa, but Dr. Carlson said, "No way! We did that once already!" and scheduled me for an induction on December 18, 2000.  I remember going in at like 7am.  I remember the nurse saying to me, "Okay now just relax, this will take some time..." and I was like, "uh, no, I am on a time schedule here, she will be delivered by noon!"  The nurse just smiled sweetly...she clearly did not believe me!  Well, Lexie was born at 12:01pm!  And she is just like that personality-wise too!  When that child sets her mind to something or makes a decision, it is done, no looking back, no regrets, she means business!  This is the child that is most like me.  She is sweet when she wants to be and sassy when she needs to be.  She is very emotional, and her mood can change in 2.5.  She has a hard time getting to sleep at night and she is SUPER creative.  She is a pouter.  She is loving.  She is a diva/princess most of the time, and she puts as much personality into the way she dresses as she does into her creations...A LOT!!  Her favorite color has been blue for as long as I can remember.  She is perfectly happy doing only what she absolutely must, even though she is smart as a whip.  Creating is her big passion and she would rather be doing that than anything else.  I LOVE her big beautiful blue eyes.  I love you, Lexie!  Happy Birthday!

A Day Of Reflection

Upon waking up this morning I was sobered by the fact that it was the 2nd anniversary of my dad's death.  But now, as the morning is quickly moving forward, I am reflecting on one of the beautiful ways that I am noticing his presence in my every day life.  I wrote a post here about my eldest daughter, Marissa and her innate musical ability.  I wrote this post about Bella and her excitement over getting to learn how to play the violin, but in that post I also wrote a little more in depth about how my dad and his brothers were all very musical, but how because of my parents' divorce early on I was not able to be given the gift of being taught how to sing or play a musical instrument.  I believe that my dad now knows how regretful that is for me and he is living on through my children, guiding them in their quest for learning the music, and passing on this beautiful gift that makes me smile and cry at the same time, every time I hear them sing or play their instrument.  No matter how new a musical piece is to them, or how much they need to practice to improve, they always sound beautiful to me.  I suppose that was his gift to me.  What a special gift that is.  

Snow Fun!

 
Could these kids be any cuter?!  I LOVE these photos Bryan got the other day after the big snow fall we had over the weekend!  They were having a blast and the sun was so beautiful too.  Such fresh little Winter faces, and they are perfect with my new background for the season.  I hope all is well with everyone!  I will be back in earnest very soon, it has just been a little hectic around here with my mother and my step-father having surgery in the same week, in which everything went well, so there is much to still be thankful for through this month of December also.  I will be back soon with an update on everything in the Simpson household.