It is so incredibly hard to believe that this eldest child of mine is 14 years old. Where on Earth is the time going? We celebrated with close family and friends on Christmas night with our traditional ham and 6 cheese scalloped potatoes. I took a bunch of pictures, and when I was going back through all of them, I had to do a double take because so many of them were like looking at a snapshot of myself. It is just crazy! This is actually a photo taken on New Year's Eve as she headed out to her first church dance. It was a FABULOUS picture so I picked it! I am anxious to see what this year brings for her.
The following are excerpts from Facebook posts that pretty much sum up what I was feeling, and some sweet messages from others. I thought these would be cool to look back on later. She is an amazing girl. I am so proud of her!
Lori J. Simpson I can hardly believe my first born child is 14 years old today. They brought her out to me in a giant red stocking. My life changed forever. I love the charming talented you lady you have become Marissa! xoxo
Judi Crews Vrieling Merry Christmas to the Simpson family, and Happy Birthday to Miss Marissa!
Kevin Scott Kornegay OMG!!! She is 14 ? WOW!!! Please tell her Happy Birthday from the kids and i, also Merry Christmas!!!
Lori J. Simpson She looked so beautiful tonight in her little knit beret hat and sweater dress. She made me so proud as she interacted and entertained friends and family here for her birthday. She is truly a blessing sent from heaven and I'm one proud Mama. :)
William Holland Tell her Uncle Bill said I love her and a happy birthday.... See you all soon....
Yesterday I woke up and I really just did not want to get out of bed. As I laid there and pouted, (I went to bed angry...don't EVER do this!) I could feel the sun starting to peek through the window shades. With furrowed brow, I thought about how short the weekend always was, and how I should have woken up sooner. WHY was I being so negative??? It was only hurting myself, nobody else. It was only making the weekend even shorter, and less inspiring. There was a list of things I needed to accomplish, let alone wanted to accomplish. But I still laid there, not changing my attitude.
As I was perusing Facebook, I saw an update of a friend who was talking about how everyday is an "Up" day or a "Down" day, and how it is our choice of which we wanted to experience. I pondered his words for a few minutes, and as I did this, I spotted a bag of scrapbook paper that I had set in my bedroom a few weeks ago and had sort-of forgotten about. The bag was actually a bunch of different bags from different stores, purchased at all different times. I had put them all in one large bag... #1 to get them out of the way during a recent onslaught of visitors for the holidays, and #2 to at one point, get them all put in their rightful organized homes for use during a creative moment at a later date. Right then Bryan walked back into the bedroom and I said, "Hey, hand me that bag..." He did so and I proceeded in going through the bags with all the pretty papers and fun stuff I had purchased. I started recalling when, where, and why I had purchased some of them, and was getting a bit giddy! I had forgotten about some of these papers untill I saw them again, right then! AWESOME!
That was it. I was not going to let a stupid little bit of negative stick around and ruin MY time for myself and my family, which is so little these days. I was not going to waste one more second having a "Down" day, when I had the power to change that. I remembered there had been some new Somerset Studio Publications released recently, but because of the holidays and illness I hadn't had a moment to look at any of them. I knew that the kids would thoroughly enjoy a spontaneous trip to the book store, and we could all be together doing this activity. I rallied the troops to get their chores done quickly, we got our poop in a group and headed out to Hastings. They have a very nice cafe + books + magazines + music which = PERFECT!
I grabbed a mocha with whip cream, sent the kiddos to grab their reading materials, and I settled in with a stack of magazines. As I read through them, made notes, sketches, and got completely inspired, we all sat and had a very nice relaxing family time. After we hung out for quite a while, we decided what we were going to purchase, made our way out and headed home to let the inspiration continue. We basically rented Hastings for $60, and it was worth every inspiring, together-ness dime!
Thank you, inspiration, for making your way into my morning and allowing me to absorb you and use you to completely change my entire negative attitude, and enjoy every piece of my Saturday. Thank you for continuing to bleed into my Sunday, the rest of my week, and possibly my whole month! Thank you for reminding me that I have a reason to get out of bed and experience the joy of my creative family, and my creative self. Thank you inspiration, for touching the creative piece of my soul, that sometimes gets lost in the shuffle.
Well I am attempting to play a bit of "catch-up" here on my blog, so I will be going back in time to talk about some of the happenings around the Simpson household. Don't worry though, I won't be going back to when I completely dropped the ball on blogging and documenting! I am only going back a couple of weeks. :)
So our little "Lexie Lou-who" turned 11 years old on December 18. I can hardly believe that she is getting so big! She celebrated in our standard way, dinner with close family and friends. Her dinner always consists of pork loin, mashed potatoes, and gravy. She got to open her gifts and of course the family gift in the infamous "red birthday box". (This is a tradition that started about 4 years ago and just stuck.)
Lexie requested lemon bars this year instead of a birthday cake, so since that is Marissa's specialty, she made them for her. We let Marissa present the lemon bars with the candles since she was the one that made them.
Earlier that day, I took Lexie to get her nails done. I had been in to get mine done the previous day and she was with me. My nail guy, Vince said to bring her back the next day, (he knew we were in a hurry that day). He said they would do hers for free for her birthday. She was SO excited! She felt pretty special, and she got a pretty blue color, with white flowers on the ring fingers.
They grow up so fast! It is so amazing to watch and even more amazing to experience. I love this child. She has so much spunk! I wrote this post to herin late June. That still sums up this girl for now. I am so super excited to see what this 11th year has in store for her. Love you, Lex! :) xoxo
It is always interesting how looking on the past has a way of sparking a bit of positive motivation for the future. I am not sure if it is just a "me" thing, or if other people feel that way too. I hear quotes about not "living in the past", and I totally believe that to be true, but the simple act of reflecting seems to be quite healthy.
As I sit here in reflection of 2011, I am thinking about my "One Little Word" that I picked, (you can view that here). I am thinking about how it worked for me, and how I maybe could have improved, (I always think that!). I am thinking about how I incorporated it into my daily life. I did a pretty good job at doing a lot of what I planned. It didn't all occur at once, it happened at lots of different times throughout the year, but I do feel like I did "Live".
I didn't let work get to me as much as I had done the year before, although that does continue to be a challenge a lot of the time. Towards the end of the summer I got a new boss that I absolutely love. I made some good progress at work and did earn another promotion. The new job that I did throughout the summer was quite fulfilling. The promotion did require me to travel, but I actually quite enjoyed that part of the job! I got to see parts of Idaho that I had never really seen before, and now appreciate the beauty of my state so much more.
Besides traveling for work, I traveled for pleasure. LOVE that! Traveling is one of my favorite things to do, and believe me if I could, I would do it way more!
I took trips with friends...
I took trips with Bryan...
I took trips with the kiddos...
I do know I had a more positive approach to work and life in general so I have to credit the positive attitude because I honestly believe that attitude is half the battle. One thing I am trying to make an effort to do is be an inspiration to others by being positive. I know I am not happy and positive everyday, but I do try. Always room for improvement there. :)
I would love to say that the year was fabulous and amazing and all rainbows and lollipops, but I would be lying. I had many struggles personally as well as a few professionally, and the two definitely collided to create those struggles.
Bryan was in school and working full time. This was definitely a challenge. I changed a lot of things just to make things work. I changed how I did things, how I reacted to things, and I definitely "chose my battles". The positive out of that situation: I became much more aware of my own temper, lack of patience and habit of overreacting. There was no room for this at all. I learned how to be much more organized, money conscious, and prepared. There were calendars, lists, and meal planning. I learned how to balance a bit more and enjoy the moments at home with my family because there were so few of them, and to leave work at work.
I also had some friendship struggles. Those are never really any fun, especially if they end and you go your separate ways. It is extremely difficult if it is a friend you would consider family, just because it is truly like a death. I think we go through the same steps of the grieving process, because in the end you know it was both of you at fault, and no matter what, they are missed deeply. They are still loved with all your heart. They just can't be your friends anymore. The positive out of that situation: I learned that there are other people around me who care for me, possibly people who I had been neglecting. There are new people to meet. There are always people who could use a friend, and those people could turn out to be some of the most quality people you will ever meet.
Ultimately I know in my heart the struggles have helped me grow personally and professionally. It is so difficult to see the "whys" when you are in full blown crisis mode, but they eventually make their way to the surface. It is how you deal with the struggles that really matters anyway, right? It is what you learn at the time, or even later that truly makes you understand that there was a purpose for the struggle in the first place.
I will continue to grow and fully engage in my word from last year by taking those lessons , some of which I guarantee I am still learning everyday. I will use it to propel me forward into this new year, while embracing the new word for 2012, "Grace". By reflecting on the past, I will try to live up to the new word, and learn the new lessons. I will do my best to become like the word I have chosen, and be an example to others.
Well, i must say that work this week was just so much better than last week! I absolutely love what I am doing right now for the company I work for, (FINALLY!) and I really feel like daily life there is making it to a point of, dare I say stability?!? None-the-less, it is work and it is grueling to be doing this type of job in this type of industry for the first time in 12 years. Honestly, the only thing that has prevented my head from spontaneously combusting during those really unstable times has been my family. They have put up with me going back to "real" work and there are days when I am just not "pretty" to be around, and I do not mean physically! I can be a real grumpy-mcGrumpy pants, and they just go with the flow and try to be as helpful as possible. I am so blessed to have these children and this husband, and I am certain I take them for granted way more than I should. Today I would like to acknowlege the love and support I get from them on a daily basis, even in my worst moments.
Dear Fabulous Family,
Thank you for putting up with me when I am being utterly ridiculous. Thank you for giving me space when it is necessary. Thank you for being unique and beautiful individuals that I am proud to call "family". Thank you for being amazing at knowing when really kick it into gear and help out as a team, not just for me, but for each other. I am truly a blessed woman to be loved by all of you. I am forever grateful. Thank you, Family.
I cannot believe it is already close to the end of summer vacation for these kids! I just love this picture of them! Summer pictures of their sun-kissed faces are SO my favorite! They have done really great as far as sticking to a schedule and mostly keeping up on chores. Not perfect by any means, but hey, I guess they are kids after all! They have done a lot of swimming, many trips to the library, various excursions on the city Bus, research projects, sleepovers with grandparents, the list goes on!
The best part is yet to come, though, as this coming week they get to meet me on one of my business trips in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. There is an amusement park very close to there and Bryan is planning on taking the kids a couple of days while I am working. Then I will meet them in the evenings, (after it cools off...hehe!). They have been working hard this past week to get their rooms all cleaned out and organized, mowing lawns, and various other "big" chores, in order to earn this trip. I know they are so excited. I think it will be fabulous for them. We do not do too many extravagant things, (they have never been to Disneyland) so when they get to do stuff like this, they are always so grateful. I love that about them! I will do a follow-up post with pictures.
Although it will be nice to get everyone back into a routine, I sure do love the more relaxed feel of summer. I will certainly miss it!
Little lexie is my youngest girl. She just turned 10 years old in December, and she is definitely her mother's daughter! She is quite the social butterfly, and has to be reminded by her teachers to "talk less, work more". Shocking! :) She has the most big, beautiful, blue eyes and blonde hair, and an infectious smile that she shares with the world. She is quite the fashionista, and her personality shows through what she wears. She absolutely loves the color blue, and she mostly wears that color every day.
She loves Littlest Petshop, and has a collection of many. She is currently having a love affair with horses. She has a couple of stuffed ones, and some clothes with horses on them, as well as plastic ones that she can play with.
Notice I am using the word "love" in just about every sentence with Lexie? That is because she is my most passionate child! She basically LOVES life, and people, and helping anyone she can. She currently plays with Hannah often, but is friends with many.
Lexie is super smart, and her favorite subject in school is of course Art. She is incredibly talented when it comes to her Art, and she puts a creative spin on everything she touches. She has a beautiful voice of an angel, and is in the choir at school. She recently made the Honor Roll and is quite proud of that acheivement. She beat out all of the 4th, 5th, and 6th grade girls to be the star in Hamlet, Ophelia. She did a phenomenal job! I was very proud!
Dear Lexie,
I know you have the potential to do some very beautiful and amazing things with your life. Through all of these years, always remember who you are. Continue to march to your own drummer. Continue to be colorful and brilliant and full of life. Be the sweet caring girl that everyone has come to know and love, but always keep your 'fight', and stand up for what you believe in. Protect those you love, and love your family. These are the things that make you the love of our lives. These are the things that will take you to far away fantastic places. I love you Little Lexie Lou-Who.
No two people are alike, and usually the two people that make the decision to spend the rest of their life together are polar opposites, which makes marriage a challenge from the very beginning. Recently I made an interesting revelation about life, relationships, and the difference in personalities.
Some people know exactly what they want to do in life...what they "want to be when they grow up". They map it out from early on. They live and do certain things in a very linear path, all the stepping stones laid out one right after another. Sometimes it takes them longer than they planned. Maybe there are a few minor detours, nothing major, but they ultimately make it to where they want to end up. The paths and the routes are all very similar to each other even though sometimes they are a bit harder than the ones before. At one point, the goal is finally acheived. These people are usually very satisfied with that.
Then there are other people. They are never quite sure what they want to be, or how they want to get there. There isn't a defined ending place, so of course a map will not really work for them. The path is a very windy and crooked one. It is never really straight, or certain. Sometimes it goes forward while other times it goes back in the same darn direction it came from. Sometimes it is uphill, and then sometimes down. This type of people is constantly re-defining themselves. It is not that these people do not have goals, they just have a lot of small goals that they are continuously trying to acheive, until they get to the next latest and greatest one that suits them.
It is not bad to be either of these types of people. They are very good people, in fact, always stopping along their own paths to help others if needed. Both have great big hearts and are passionate about the directions, whether straight or crooked, that they are headed for. They both have their own ideas, sometimes very different ones, about how to get where they are going, but ultimately they both want to be happy and healthy. They both want to raise happy, healthy, smart, successful children. They both love very deeply.
My biological father, whom I didn't spend an enormous amount of time with as a child because of divorce, said these words to me on my wedding day: "You two are very different people, from very different families. You did not grow up the same and you both have very stong personalities. You are polar opposites and you have opposite birth signs. You are going to have to work very hard to make this marriage work. It is not going to be easy, and I am just telling you so you remember that every day that you are together." He said some other things too, but this is what really stuck with me. It stunned me, really, but I heard what he said. My dad did not say a lot when he was alive, but when he did, it was usually very insightful and important. I have never forgotten those words, and in fact, Bryan and I have discussed them many times.
Being married is the hardest thing I have ever done. I almost think it is harder than parenting, and I am a far better mother than I am a wife, I am pretty sure. But I believe what my dad said is true. I believe it in my very soul. But I also know that I have a choice on how to use that little nugget of wisdom my Dad gave me to make the marriage a success. Sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and run away to Mexico. Sometimes I am frustrated beyond belief. Sometimes I wonder why the hell I did this and why didn't I stay single and travel the world like I planned instead! But at the end of the day, I choose to make it work...we choose to make it work. It is not easy. Not everyone can make this choice. But this is how I make my "different" work.
Today would have been my Dad's Birthday. I could feel it coming, not because I could see the date on a calendar, but because I believe I can feel him around me. We shared a Birthday month, which means we shared a Birth Sign also. We shared similar personalities which would be considered "free spirits" I suppose. This shared personality type is a pretty happy one most of the time, which leads me to the one thing that we shared that you would see on his face, and on my face most of the time...The Smile.
I did the above layout after he had died. I was looking through old photos, (Sadly I do not have very many) and I came across these 2 of us. I noticed instantly the resemblance in the big cheesy grin we were both sporting. Wow. I knew right then I wanted to write a bit about it. It was not very long after he died, so I guess I was feeling a bit sensitive at the time, and I was really happy to see that there really was a piece of him that I still carried with me even after he was gone. Strange that I had never noticed it before, but how lucky am I?
Thank you, Dad for the amazingly beautiful and infectious smile that you bestowed upon me with your genetics. I will be forever grateful for it, and continue to share it with the world, as I know it was meant for me to do. The power of a genuine smile is great, and I will share it always. May you still use yours to smile down on me, and be proud of the woman that I have become. I love you and I miss you with all my heart.
Every year since Marissa started school (She is now in 7th grade!) I have sent the children to their first day with an apple for their teacher, and I always take a picture! Well guess who started school on January 10th??? Yup, you guessed it! So, the kids were adamant about Papi doing the same thing because it is "tradition" so he was a great sport and here is his "First Day of School" photo with his apple for Professor Goodwin. The kids even helped pick out his new school outfit! Too cute! I wrote a secret note for Bryan to give to his professor, which she thought was hysterical, and showed the other gals. Bryan says they like me already because of the note and was very curious about what it said...I just smiled :)
We are now almost a month into this crazy adventure of ours, and it has definitely had some challenges. At one point during the first week and a half, I almost sent Bryan to live with his Granny because, well, let's just say he was having a hard time coping with the pressure of 20 credits, work, and family life still happening around him. I just took a deep breath, made him do the same, changed my approach a bit, had a couple family meetings, worked out a few kinks....things are now looking up!
He has taken his first couple of tests, even whilst being sick, and did pretty well (88-Pharmacology and 100-Bioethics). Because he is working on the weekends, seeing the kids and spending time with me is minimal, but he is coming up with ways to at least be together. They go to the library together some evenings to do home work, and they are loving that. He is always at the dinner table with us and that is so cool. When he works his 12 hour shifts, we try to go on little dates and get away from the house, if even for a coffee and a chat.
He is doing great! He can do this. We can do this. It is all about being flexible and tolerant, and working as a team. It will pay off in the end and hopefully we will all have learned something as well. That will be a very great thing!
